Well. J.B.'s got a job. That job is to pester the nice people into giving donations. Specifically, for Planned Parenthood. That's the issue Grassroots Campaigns are tackling at the moment. What a nice, non-divisive issue to "get my dick wet"(Grassroots' words, not mine) with. I could have had ASPCA, but no, they thought I'd be better suited to talk people into forking over cash to support fetus-killing. Thanks, guys. That's what my mother always said about me, too.
Jokeys aside, I am fucking pumped to have a job. i'm pumped to commute for some unknown, no doubt retarded reason. Being a member of society excites me. This will last for three days, I'm guessing. Time will tell whether or not I'm suited to this job and if it's suited to me. I'm still looking for something else, but goddamn it is nice to relax a bit on the job front.
I was just re-reading what I've written so far, and it's gangbusters as usual, but I remembered that Laurel Rakas reads/has read my blog. Which I'm very happy with, I really like Kari's mom, but does she need to read about a wet dick? My guess is no. But that shit makes me laugh, so I'm keeping it in. Apologies now and in the future for any crass shit that adults I like and respect read. It's all for yuks, folks.
Improv program is going well. I'm a bit nervous onstage (it probably shows) but I'm getting more comfortable by the day. I get laughs in class and it's like a crack sandwich being fed to my pleasure center on a velvet pillow made of dreams. I suck in class and I get warm and sweaty and uncomfortable. Ah, fears and anxiety, is there anything you can't drive me to do? Driving towards success is the best place you've ever taken me, fears and anxiety. I'd offer to split gas and tolls with you but this metaphor is strained as it is. Maybe some of you J.B.eaners who have theater experience help me out with a few tips for stage poise. If not, go fuck yourself.
A note about J.B.eaners. I'm trying it out. I'm looking for a word that describes a reader of this specific blog. Help me out with your suggestions.
Check it out, I live and work in Chicago.
6 comments:
Thanks for referencing my mom and "wet dick" in the same thought.
I hope she reads this and then says "oh dear!" in a Minnesotan accent.
JibBlits
OOoooooo, I vote for that one.
I was going to say that I could handle the wet dick but that just sounded so wrong.
HA! hahahahahahahahahhahahhahahaha Kari's not gonna like that comment but whatever. Thank you for making my day.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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